By a Nose....

Last week when I was about 5 glasses of pinot grigio deep, I inadvertently came up with a fascinating hypothesis. Now before the comments come flying in (read: my brother might write a comment if he's not working) this not a proven theory. There are many exceptions to this "rule".

Hypothesis: Caliber of acting is directly linked to the size of an actor's nose. To demonstrate, I've compiled a group of male actors.

Case in point: Check out the Schnoz on That Guy

From top left: Al Pacino, Peter Sellers, Adrien Brody, Ian McKellen, Daniel Day Lewis, Robert Deniro

Mostly dramatic but each has proven capable of having strong comedic value or vice versa. All are well-rounded and well-established actors. One of these actors also had a full breakdown on stage while performing Hamlet when he actually saw the ghost of his real dead father. That is commitment and that is craft.

Case in counterpoint: Carefully Styled Hair Won't Help You

From top left: David Hasselhoff, Ryan Reynolds, Leonardo DiCaprio, Keanu Reeves, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vanilla Ice

All of these actors play every role they touch the same way. Ryan Reynolds? Funny and sarcastic. Keanu Reeves? Emotes with the same amount of his Matrix action figures.

There are two examples that are more subtle and require explanation. Leo had only one role where he truly acted and that was What's Eating Gilbert Grape?. The other equally controversial choice is Vanilla Ice. I've seen Cool As Ice three times, it pains me to say this brilliant MC should stick to music.

You may have noticed that this list does not include younger actors. Acting is sometimes like those 8 glasses of delicious pinot grigio: They get better with age. If the hypothesis does hold true we can expect great things from:


And again, since this is not a proven theory there are always exceptions:


Thoughts?